Tips to looking good even if you’re ugly as shit :)


I’m not saying anyone is UGLY per-se but I’ve compiled a list of tips to keep you looking trendy as hell even on those days, weeks, months or years, when you are feeling less than beautiful!

You probably didn’t even notice my double chin because you were too distracted by my reflective sunglasses and nail polish!

If you can master these tips on the daily, you are garunteed to be AT LEAST an 8 when your outfit, hair and attitude are on point, and a 5 at your very lowest points in life.

  1. Buy a cute phone case – You carry your phone everyday so investing in something trendy is probably the best thing you can do today, for the well being of your future self, and not to mention your future children. Lets make them proud, by heading over to the accessory section of your local Nordstrom and getting something overpriced enough to make you feel fancy even when you are in your sweatpant-no-makeup combo!


  1. Nail polish – Always have your nails somewhat done. This can give off the illusion that you have your life together enough to sit down every Sunday and slather on some ESSIE. If you choose an ugly color the plan WILL NOT work, and I can’t be held accountable for that. Stick to something trendy for example a really dark burgundy or extremely light pink (given that you have a tan).


  1. Sunglasses – the bigger the better to hide more of your face.  Reflective lenses are your best bet. That way if anyone gets close enough to see that you’re actually kind of ugly, they will be too distracted by their own reflection to pay any attention to you. Like the rest of these tips, execute them rain or shine.


  1. Smell good – this can be hard because even expensive perfume wears off in like 0.2 seconds. The trick is layering. Body wash, moisturizer, body spray, perfume, then re-apply scented hand cream every 12 minutes


  1. Get yourself one of those Pom-Poms. They’re really trendy and super distracting.


  1. Invest in a nice blanket scarf – again, the bigger the better – this will help hide your ugly outfit. A second benefit to the classic blanket scarf, is that you will blend in with every other girl to ever exist, thus nobody will pay any attention to your personal flaws!!


Here I am struggling to open my umbrella, but nobody cares how dumb I might look, because I have a trendy as shit pom pom hanging off my bag!!!

Ok these are all the tips I can muster up. There’s only so much I can do. Remember these tips are like dry shampoo, they’re only really covering up the problem.


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