Yesterday was potentially the worst day of my life. I found out that I’m actually poor.
After surviving the past six months with a French bank account, I thought my finances were flying high seeing as the popular math phenomenon “the guess and check” method seemed to be holding me over at each visit to the ATM. Where I would guess an amount to with-drawl and pray to the good lord that I wouldn’t be left with “insufficient funds”.
Money always came out so I was under the impression that I was running in the top 1% financially speaking (looks and personality included now that I think about it) (I’m kidding duh).
I had received a few French bank documents in the mail but I didn’t bother to read them because they were IN FRENCH so my brain directly translated them to “unimportant”.
I had to set up an appointment with my bank guy (who finds it hysterical that I have no idea what the fuck is going on) to figure out how to close my account.
This trip to the bank revealed some interesting and useful information that I would have otherwise never been aware of. I have had a credit account for the past 6 months that I have failed to pay off!!!!! Thus I have NEGATIVE money!!!!!
Upon hearing this, I was in such shock and didn’t want to let on to my bank guy that I was unaware that I was drowning in debt! I had to play it cool, as if I had known all along that my current balance was negative 800+ Euros and I’d soon be applying for welfare!!!
I thanked him and told him I would make an appointment to close my account next month before I move back to Canada.
I then went immediately to the café across the street, and chugged an iced coffee and then sat there and started panicking, and sweating wondering how in the hell I was going to afford this thirst quenching INDULGENCE.
Never mind the fact that my rent is due TOMORROW and I literally have NEGATIVE money??!?!??!
I’ve tried googling “how to make money FAST” but alas nothing promising has surfaced. If anyone has any pyramid schemes, part time jobs, housework, (I’m open to discussing partial nudity??!!), or left over scholarship money please do not hesitate to contact me!!!
In the mean time I will link my crowd-funding page below.
Xoxo help a sister out J
Bless you all.