FEELING THINGS

I often wish that I was a sociology major, or studied anthropology or any of those deep things that would help me better understand the meaning of life, and maybe help me figure out the puzzle of why the fuck I have been put on this earth and what exactly it is that I  should be trying to accomplish.

Instead I study business, and as a result I can make assets equal liabilities plus shareholder’s equity. I’m not saying that one of these professions is more valuable than the other, but I will say that in my current profession I have gained little clarity on my purpose in life, or at the very least the meaning behind human nature.

Alas the grass is often greener on the other side, and I’m sure those studying anthropology or sociology are probably drinking themselves sick, and paying other people to write their essays, so who’s to say if they have a better grasp on the meaning of life???

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I got advice from a friend last year before embarking on my journey abroad, where among other things she wrote in a letter reminding me to “FEEL THINGS”

For some odd reason that simple piece of advice has resonated with me and in the past few weeks I have been reminded again and again of the beauty of letting yourself experience emotion, unapologetically.

After experiencing a level 7 emotional breakdown last week, I wondered if I would ever just be okay. If I would ever be able to go through life without experiencing the low lows. If I would ever just be NORMAL.

In thinking about achieving normality I of course turned to the experts: social media influencers. The latest trend in social media influencing is heroically identifying as a liar. Every day I watch another blogger, or youtuber announce to their fans that they have been falsely claiming to be leading a normal life, when in fact behind closed doors and un-instagrammable posts, they are in fact depressed.

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My take on the whole thing is that with the rise of social media the millennials have been conditioned more than ever to strive to achieve happiness, when life is more complex than that. Wanting to live a life filled with nothing but happiness is not realistic nor is it enjoyable. Tacky Instagram quotes have reminded me time and time again to rid myself of anything and anyone who makes me experience unhappiness, but is that really sustainable??? What is so daunting about experiencing a few moments of sadness???

We must remember that as much as laughing uncontrollably with your best friend on the phone while trapped in McDonalds is a beautiful thing, unexplainably crying during the stretching part of your Thursday morning workout class is an equally important part of life.

I think that what we all have come to accept as a norm, is that periods of sadness must mean that we are depressed. Experiencing social anxiety must mean that we suffering from an anxiety disorder. I know I am victim of this.

Like I said before, I am no expert on the meaning of life, but I have released a lot of stress over the last week in realizing that there is nothing wrong with me for sobbing uncontrollably while walking home. Or being over joyed while eating oatmeal and watching the sun shine through the living room window.

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There is something forgiving about sinking into your feelings. Something so human about allowing yourself to cry. To lay in bed when you feel the world is too much to handle. Or to wake up at 6am to go for a run when life excites you and to laugh so hard with your roommates cuddled up on the couch.

After having these ground breaking realizations over this past week I decided not to keep this wise advice all to myself and instead to share it with my fellow readers!! Most of which live in Sri Lanka and I’d be lying if I said I am not 90% sure they are fake accounts.

Feeling things is a way to remind yourself to be alive. Not living a monotone life. Experiencing the ups and the downs.

The sun must set for it to rise again.

 

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