FINDING LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

I don’t want to say that boys have been like throwing themselves at me, but boys have DEFINETLY been throwing themselves at me. And not just any ol’ boys, no no, the boys of BUMBLE. Bumble boys hold the upmost ranking when it comes to the male species. For they are not only physically appealing, they are also career men!

I downloaded the app a few days ago when I came back from Mexico, and still had a week to loiter before school started. This allowed me ample time to draft and send the most captivating first messages to lock in the bumble boys. For those who don’t understand the concept, Bumble is much like Tinder, except the female has to start the conversation. If the boy doesn’t reply within 24h then the match expires! I’m getting a rush just thinking about it!!!

At first, I admit, I was a rookie. The only logical thing I could come up with to entice boys to talk to me was to say their name followed by several exclamation points. I fell in love with this boy named Evan, so naturally I pulled out my name + exclamation point trick. Here is the result:

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Inevitably the 16 hours went by and Evan couldn’t find the words to reply to me, thus allowing the match to expire. I don’t consider this a loss in love though, for I know Evan will often think of me. Jacquie from Bumble, who’s bio is her subway sandwich order.

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I eventually got the hang of it. I realized that the best way to invite love into my life, was by extending love to my prey. I would obsessively lurk the photos of my matches searching for any small detail that could invite conversation. Once I settled on the most obscure item in the ensemble of photos, I would prepare the word combination: Nice + Noun. For example, “nice dog”, “nice hair”, “nice left triceps”, “nice dad” etc.

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I’m not one to kiss and tell, but I will say this; the Nice + Noun combo left the boys SPEECHLESS! My matches were expiring left right and centre! And if that doesn’t scream love, then heck, I don’t know what does!

2017 is a year for embracing love. Loving yourself (duh), loving your friends, loving your internet boyfriends, and letting them love you. Sometimes love just can’t be expressed in words, and Evan, Dylan, and all the other bumble boys helped me to realize that.

Love is about learning.

Until next time xxx

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